Love And Care For Yourself

February 4, 2022 | Chakeria Woods

If someone asked you to name all the things that you love, how long would it take for you to mention you love yourself?

 
Self-love is the best love. When we think of love we often associate it with love outside of ourselves. We think of romantic, intimate, or relationship love; however, it is difficult to love someone else, if you are not loving yourself properly. If you are not properly caring and loving yourself, communicating your needs, etc., you may tend to make your needs and wants the responsibility of your partner, and vice versa, while continuing to neglect yourself.
 
Self-care includes but is not limited to: what you allow yourself to accept from people, what you put into your mind, body, and spirit, proper rest, control of emotions, taking responsibility for your own feelings, and honesty with self-feeling whole yourself, so you aren’t anxious and dependent on other people to “give” you what you “need.” A healthy relationship is being whole on your own instead of expecting to be completed by someone or something else.  When you are whole, you are able to share that overflow of love with each other, and compliment each other, rather than complete each other. It is learning to depend on yourself to meet the majority of your needs.
 
Self-care involves introspection. Evaluate your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors. It is reviewing your self-talk. Would you talk to a loved one the way you talk to yourself?
 
It is building a relationship with yourself, making a spreadsheet of your debt, and enforcing a morning routine. It’s putting down the junk food, sodas, sweets, and cooking yourself healthy meals. It’s facing your problems, instead of calling the masking the problem with drugs and alcohol. It is sweating through another workout, telling a toxic friend/family member/someone you love, that you don’t want to hang out anymore. It’s choosing people who are good too, and for you. It’s accepting yourself fully, yet making a pact to yourself, to continue to grow. It includes meditation, and choosing to make the best decisions for you!
 
Taking a mandated break to do simple things for yourself is definitely part of self-care. True self-care is not limited to bubble baths, massages, and take out. It is often making the choice to build a life you don’t need to regularly escape from. 
 
This often takes doing the thing you least want to do. Self-care has very little to do with “treating yourself” and a lot more to do with parenting yourself and making choices for your highest good. It is choosing a life that feels good to you internally, rather than a life that looks good to outsiders. 

Growth looks so good on you. Keep up the great work!!

 

A Few Self-Care Habits:

  • Exercise
  • Meditate or do deep breathing for five minutes
  • Take a break when you need it
  • Choose who you spend time with
  • Laugh heartily at least once a day
  • Eat green daily
  • Avoid emotional eating
  • Start a journal
  • Learn to say ‘No’
  • Stop overthinking
  • DANCE! Put on your favorite upbeat record and shake your booty
  • Imagine you’re your best friend. If you were, what would you tell yourself?

Some Benefits of Self-Care:

  • Self-care improves your self-compassion. The more you take care of yourself, the better you feel
  • You’ll find out who you really are. How many times do you stop and think, what do I LOVE to do? What really lights me up? What can I do for myself that makes me feel good? As we grow up and leave ‘childhood’ behind we are conditioned to believe that play is for children, and that doing too much for ourselves is ‘selfish’
  • You will have more to give others. Not less. If your cup isn’t full, you can’t fill someone else’s
  • You will start to believe in yourself
 
You set the standard for how others can treat you. ‘Love no human being more than you love being valued, respected, and treated well.’ You deserve happiness, love, commitment, affection, freedom, vacations, health, attention, wealth, relaxation, peace. Believe you deserve it. Be who you need to be to receive it. Just as a freshly printed dollar and an old crumpled dollar holds the same value, the same is true for you. Despite your or other people’s mistakes, actions, behaviors, inability to acknowledge/see your value, etc. your worth remains the same. You are worthy. Confidence is key. Make time for you & the things that make you, you.

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